Thank You, Goodbye

I never had the chance to say thank you...for changing my whole life. For giving me a chance to love for the last time. In this world where I thought love can never be found again. I built my walls strong and tall, so that when these kind of emotions come knocking I can hide away. Then you came and it came crashing. I shouldn't have met you, but thank you anyway.

Thank you for making me smile without a reason, for making me soar again when gravity is pulling strong. Thank you for making me hold on when the rest of the world is screaming for me to let go. Thank you for believing in me when I can't believe in myself. Thank you for offering me a hand when I don't need it. Maybe I thought I don't need it because I was busy pretending I'm strong. Sometimes I want to crash into your arms and  let the world turn like it always do. You have been a sanctuary, and oh I don't ever want to lose you. I want to be always around you.

Thank you...I'm dying to say your name again. But I think you will remain a mystery to the world. They see me beautiful and strong and witty, but they never knew there was you behind all that I am. You don't now that too...but know that I really really am thankful for you. For all that you do. For all that you say. And for all that was never spoken.

Thank you for making me feel this important to you...and I would do anything now just to let you know that I am so thankful of you coming into my life...Thank you.

Pretend

Faking the smile.
Faking the laugh.
I'm okay. Oh! Don't mind me. It's nothing.
Over and over again same thing, same line, fooling myself each time.
I'm not that happy, I know I'm not.
How could I be? When you have broken my heart?
All of these are just pretend, you never loved me and never will. I should have known. I should get mad but here I am still looking in your direction. Waiting for that magic moment when you turn around and our eyes will meet.
All of a sudden, it's all just pretend.

My Heart Is Breaking

My heart is breaking...the day you said you never felt the same. My heart can take it, I'm stronger than I look. You don't have to be sorry, no need to feel bad for me. I only loved and still loving you though I said that we can only be friends. My heart is breaking, even if tears doesn't fall from my eyes. There's that pain inside and I can't put it aside. My heart seemed to scream, my veins about to burst but as long as I'm breathing everything will be okay.

How many times I promised myself not to expect anything from you. I taught my heart to live for the moment and pray harder each time you start to pop in my mind. How can I forget you? I don't understand why... I never believed any word that you said, never relied on your promises and until now, I know that they aren't going to come true. But why does this heart of mine is still in love with you? And now my heart is breaking... My heart is breaking into pieces that I don't know if I can still put it together. Why can't I not give you up? When all the reason in this world is telling me to stop, why does the heart goes on?

My heart is breaking for my foolishness and though it's breaking I'm still loving you with all the broken pieces. Oh I hate this heart of mine!

I Would Still Love You

I can still recall your face, it has been a long time but I can't seem to forget. Your smile that reaches my deepest thoughts, your voice that caresses my heart. I'm sure it isn't hard for you to find someone who would fall deeply for you. I know you, but I don't know if its the reason why I love you so much. That even if my heart will be broken I would still love you.

as long as i live

You didn't know this, and I'm thankful for that. If I ever saw you again, I will have to let you know that even if I will be broken, I would still love you.

An Inch Above Earth

I don't know what I'm feeling, but everything I feel is murky. The weather is sunny, the people are friendly, but why inside I'm so lonely? Is this because he is not around? Is it because he is out of reach? I know Who I serve, I know to Whom I belong. Today is not a good day at all to talk about how wonderful life is...

I can't feel the ground and my direction is nowhere. Sometimes life is such a blur and I'm one inch above the earth. The dirt, the pain, the hurt and the tears its on my shoulders. I can't breathe, I can't die...I'm so confuse why oh why?!

Crying out to my Master, calling out His name over and over...There is no other name on earth that can lift me up. No power can refresh my soul. Only in Your arms can I find rest, only with you I can feel so safe. In this world where I don't belong, save me Father I am yours and Yours alone.

Fallen Angel

I can hear the distant echoes of a guitar string, I can recall the light and the warmth of the sunless heaven but where did it all go? I can't reach the clouds now, when before it brushes my feet when I walk. And the spotless white fire that never fails day and night.


My dreams before were pictures of laughter and hope, of children running free and meadows of lush green grass. Now they are gray and cold and sordid...like a back door alley in a cold rainy day. 


So tired of all these...want to be coming home again. I fell so deep didn't know where was I? The cold concrete and the criticizing eyes, the biting wind and the awful noise...where am I? Is this the world?


Danger in every footstep, fear in every turn, pain in each heart that passes by. God I didn't know, what are to do now? Send me Your light to follow, Your road to walk on, for though it is hard my heart is willing to be Yours...completely.

Dark Brown

I miss those brown eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep

Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
and after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your dark eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm alone with me

Dark brown that's what i see
Your beautiful eyes when you look at me
and i miss everything about you
i can't believe its true...


i love you.

Officially Missing You

You're on my mind almost all the time...every single minute all I do is think of you 'cause deep inside in this heart of mine I have to go on wishing 'till its time.


You didn't know how I really feel right now, I write several poems a day just to keep myself busy and all the poem says how much I want to be with you. Now that you're leaving, going away for quite sometime I know in my heart that I will miss you much greater than I miss you now... 


So long to the only man I love with all my heart. To the man I need to be with.

A Dream

It is my dream to become a DJ...at least once in my lifetime. So I tried my best to acquire communication and speaking skills, which now I'm quite confident of. Being able to communicate and be understood in a different language is a gift.


But right now, all I really want to understand is my heart :)

Thank You

I never had the chance to say thank you...for changing my whole life. For giving me a chance to love for the last time. In this world where I thought love can never be found again. I built my walls strong and tall, so that when these kind of emotions come knocking I can hide away. Then you came and it came crashing. I shouldn't have met you, but thank you anyway.


Thank you for making me smile without a reason, for making me soar again when gravity is pulling strong. Thank you for making me hold on when the rest of the world is screaming for me to let go. Thank you for believing in me when I can't believe in myself. Thank you for offering me a hand when I don't need it. Maybe I thought I don't need it because I was busy pretending I'm strong. Sometimes I want to crash into your arms and  let the world turn like it always do. You have been a sanctuary, and oh I don't ever want to lose you. I want to be always around you.


Thank you...I'm dying to say your name again. But I think you will remain a mystery to the world. They see me beautiful and strong and witty, but they never knew there was you behind all that I am. You don't know that too...but know that I really really am thankful for you. For all that you do. For all that you say. And for all that was never spoken.


Thank you for making me feel this important to you...and I would do anything now just to let you know that I am so thankful of you coming into my life...Thank you.

WoLveRine

I can perfectly remember the first time I saw you, the first emotions that went through me. I wanted to protect you, to watch you from afar and wonder why my walls are tumbling down.
It wasn't that long ago, and I can't believe that in one day so much can happen. My heart run away, my mind stopped thinking, my whole world turned upside down...it took me an effort to return to normal. Or so I thought I'm back to normal...
I didn't know I was loving you with every "hi, how are you?"
I didn't know you were getting close to my heart with every "goodnight" and "take care" and all else that was said and done.


I thought being close to you will erase everything, I thought making you mine will wash away the emotions, will make the desire to get close to you go away...but here I am in a web that is supposed to trap you away from me. Here I am tangled and mystified by my own wishes and hopes.


I thought it was a dark desire, I thought its a once in a lifetime craving...I thought its like a devil that I can just face and prove that I'm still gonna win in the end...


I love you... I just can't tell you how much, I'm scared of what you will say. I can't let this go. Even if you aren't mine, even if you don't give a damn...I need you. I want you. I love you.


I love you.

The Way To You

I need to see you...need to feel you...its you when I look in the mirror, you when I pick up the phone...I want to see you, I may not know if this is the last time or the first of all the last memories with you. Can't you see that this is important? To know if I mean something to you. Of all the things that I ever do, this is what I can't give up.


I've been waiting for so long, for the time to spend with you. Now that it finally came, you'll tell me not to? How can you be so insensitive? Or maybe that's just the way you are? Trying to look so tough, but deep in you is a heart full of longing...I don't know where I'm heading to...Trying to look for the road that leads to you.


Looking for the way to you...

Ain't No Sunshine

I wish I can capture you like the sun on the twilight sky, you are like this light to me. Even though my life is such a beautiful sky what would it look like without the sun?


This is just wishful thinking isn't it? 'Cause no matter what I do you can never love me as your woman. I'm only a girl to your eyes, I can make you smile and make you laugh but I can never make you happy enough.


I tried to unlove you, get you out of my mind and live a life without you but its like a day without the sun. I love the rain, the clouds and the fog but its because I know the sun is always shining behind them. But without you, its like never really seeing anything behind the mist. I know I can go on, live the most normal life possible without you. But it will all lose its meaning.


I prayed for Him to take away what is not meant to be and unpleasant to His eyes, and everything this body felt lifted up except what is left in the heart. It always whispers to love like I never loved before, not to expect anything back. Just love that person so much because no one else can love him that way. The sun rises up in the morning and sets in the evening, reminds me that the sun only shines half of the day and must give way to the night. Taught me to hold on half tightly and half blindly, yes the sun is beautiful but there must also be a time to see the moon and the stars. They aren't that bright, but their gentle light creates a sanctuary where you can reflect what happened during the day. To miss the sun there must be the moon, and to find the night mysterious there's the day.


How perfect is his creation...like you in my life. The way you stay in my heart even if you're hundreds of miles away. The way I feel your hand in mine without actually touching them. You shine in my sky and disappear to let me see the night hopeful that there's always a tomorrow by His grace. No one is perfect, but I found what is perfect in my life and it is where you are.

Fearless

I always thought I knew what it feels like to love, so many dreams, so many wishes, so many moments that I thought will come true. Not until that very day when I'm not expecting love to come by. It started out as a feeling that I never wanted at the first place, mistaking it for a distraction. In that single moment, single day, single conversation with you, went so deep where my heart slumbers.


I thought love is something that I would recognize when it passes by, but I didn't knew it was love until I wanted to leave. I tried to get away from you hoping that all these will disappear and it ended up drawing me nearer. Now I know I have to learn so much, this is how it feels this time. The music wouldn't stop whenever I'm with you. When I realized that this was love, I have already made a mistake...I will never cry but there goes the tears hoping to wash away what I've done. All my walls that took years to build came crashing down without a sound. What happened?


Between love and reason, I've loved and reasoned it out.I knew that I lost, walking the streets knowing that I'm falling. Terrified, 'cause you are my greatest find. Like a treasure, like life itself poured down on me. I knew I'm in love, for the first time fearless about it. Not scared to be broken, to lose between loving you and letting you go. Terrified but fearless in letting it show, letting you feel it. Loving for the very last time, in this only life that I got. I'm saying this 'cause I mean it, I mean it because its true. 


I only have one life, and I'm not going to spend it crying over you. I will rise above it all, let love fly away...until love comes back I'll be ready to catch you.

Some Things Will Never Change

What makes a person emotionally mature?
Is it the way they handle distance? The way they keep the communication? Or how they live apart from each other? I never thought of an answer until the question came up... I thought commitment is the answer, how they keep the promises and how they set apart their hearts for that person.


I don't know if I'm hurt, or if I'm taken aback. But I knew in my heart this is what you want. Loving you is a choice, loving though it hurts is a choice and no one else can decide that but me.


I can't hate you no matter how it hurts. But I told you before, just tell me what makes you happy and it won't matter if I hurt or not...Some things will never change no matter how it turns out to be. If you're pushing me away then don't waste your effort, I'm walking away now...by and by I go. One small step after the other. I will let go like a leaf falling from a branch, gracefully and glorifying God.


Wherever you go, and whatever might happen, know that there are times that I'll be sitting here thinking about you...singing your songs and stealing time from the past. I'll always have these memories, and they are enough for me to cross another bridge, throw away the chains and let love fly away. Until love comes again some things will never change.


Here comes goodbye, here comes the very first tears I'll ever cry...here comes the pain, here I am wishing still that I'm in your arms again...and still some things will never change.

The Man and The Music

I am the girl who would listen to your music and read your soul... Think of you for hours and hours and weave words to sing in secret. If you would ask me to lie, I will say "I love you". Because the truth is I love you more than I can ever say.

Rescue

I need You Jesus to come to my rescue, where else can I go?

There's no other name which I can be saved, capture me with grace I will follow you...

I surrender everything to You, everyday of my life, things that I want to do, who I want to be with, what I want to be, all things in this life Father. Guide me, keep me by Your side, that I pray for everyday. The way is uncertain and the world is deceiving with all its wealth but with You I firmly stand, with You I am certain, with You I am strong. Teach me Your ways and I will follow. Show me the way and I will find courage in knowing You lead me there. I am not scared to fall, not when I'm with You. I'm not scared to jump if You say so. I am Yours Father...I lift up my all and myself to You. May I be a blessing to my love ones. I pray that You mold me and be with me, and make me the best for this person that I love. I am for You, Majesty.

I am For You

I'm a woman now Father, and there are lots of things that I missed in growing up. I cannot remember the first time I opened my eyes, the first word I uttered, my first step when I finally learned how to walk...but You do. I cannot remember the time when I learned how to write, or the first music that I learned to sing, I remember how excited I am to explore the world but I don't know how many times I fell...but You do. 
You remember my first smile, my first haircut and the way I cry as a baby. You knew me ever since, You know my weaknesses and my strength, You made me just as I am. You gave me this weakness because You know that I can become strong in the process of overcoming the weakness. You made me exactly who I am today because for You, I am beautiful.


Right now, I wake up each day knowing that there are things that must be done, responsibilities to attend to, work that must be finished...and I'm wondering... How do you look at me now?
I still fear spiders, bugs and other crawling creatures. I fear being lonely, I fear rejection, but You never get tired of being there. You never get tired of calling my name, telling me to be brave and sending me help. How many times have I felt neglected, ignored by the people around me. But You...You gather me in Your arms each time I'm broken and heal my soul. You never leave me alone or let me hit the ground each time I fall.


Now I know, I am for You. Even if I fail You, even if Your heart is bleeding for my failures. You are with me, in every step that I take, each time I close my eyes...and You remain strong when I am weak. Your hand never left mine when I was running away from You. You waited patiently even when I was hiding my heart. Forgive me Father, but now that everything is gone You remained. Your grace is enough...and Your love for me costs Your beloved. Who am I that He has to die for me?


I am for You...Even if You have everything, even if You are sovereign...You still want me and You never stopped until I am Yours. Now... I am Yours and Yours alone completely.

No Letting Go

Life passes so quickly, I don't know if I should take my time or just take everything altogether. What I know is sometimes we get to have the chance to say what we really feel and mess it all up. Along the way we face all these doubts, all these uncertainties, the scary thoughts that we may fail. Specially that there's distance, there are other people, there are lies spawn along the emptiness that we feel.


How can I tell my heart to stay strong? To hold on and believe in us. I know there's so much that we felt for each other, but have we gone through enough? Some would say that they stood strong and they stood together through the storms and challenges. How about us? We've only just begun this journey and the worst is yet to come. Is my love enough? Is your love enough?


We promised to stay true and to that I hold on to, I don't want anything else but the truth and honesty. Thank you so much for telling me these things. Lets grow up together, lets stay close to each other's heart. Let the world turn around, let the storm scatter the land, but I know that what I feel will never change. Babe hold my hand, don't let go. The way there is shaky and uncertain, but my love for you stands true.


Silence...that's where we start. Then spawn a thought, these thoughts became words, and the words turned into actions. So we will be careful with our thoughts, make sure that we speak only kind words and words that love, so that our actions will reflect whatever is in our hearts. 


With you I learned to check my thoughts, to take a look at my heart, to watch what words come out of my mouth...to filter what is happening all around. With you I will learn how to let go of things that will surely come back if they are meant to be. Wherever I go, and in all I do there will always be a part of it that is meant for you, that is because of you and that I've learned from you. You are a part of my life now...and I wish I am of yours...


I am yours...always.

The Little Things

 I woke up to find myself busy with the little boxes of memories in the corner of my mind. The little things that I kept is catching up on me. I love to look back and remember how I started falling for the man and remind me self why I'm still falling for him. Its so nice to feel the same way over and over everyday.


     What did he do, I've no idea...the little things that he do are countless now filling up my heart. Some are love, some are breathless words, a doze of thoughtful breeze, a street full of lights, fireworks and gentle caresses. It fills me up and I take time to taste it again, like a scent of flowers in a blowing wind, like a kiss of light playing behind the clouds...

     The little things...

Orange Blue Sky

     Several suns had gone down since I saw you last, I missed your smile...I don't now what I'm feeling now. I keep telling myself to stop looking back on those days when all we do is stare at each other's eyes for hours and hours and hours. When nothing else matters but you and me.

      I get lost and sometimes forgot what day is it or what time, 'cause all I do is linger in thoughts of your hand holding mine, your smile before I sleep, your voice saying "you're too dear to me now". Breathless, happy, sated and echoes of laughter fading away... Waiting for the sun to play by the horizon and hoping that it won't disappear too fast, our memories are like that. Waiting for it to happen and hoping that it won't end when it does, like the orange blue sky at twilight.

     I want to fly to where you are... 

SmiLe

You are not mine

Afraid that you will never be

But after thinking about it for sometime

It finally dawned on me,

I can never tell you to go

But I can't make you stay

Want to protect your body and guard your soul

But there's just no other way,

So I smile...letting go of your hand

I smile seeing you across that road

Someday I would understand

Turn around, tell my heart its gonna be okay,

On the bus, passing by the trees and the sky

Tears, started to fall down my eyes

Right now, it feels so good to cry

And I did, so hard I cried...so later I'll smile,

Walking down the streets of my good ol' home

This is where I belong, safe and sound

But my heart has a different home now

Not here in my territorial ground,

So I smile as I felt that empty space

My heart I know has gone somewhere else

Just smile, have to go on no matter what it takes

I just met love, and this is how it feels,

Whatever happens now I did what is right

And it makes me smile to know I made you glad

I smile because to me you've been a light

Whatever you are, you're the best I ever had.

The Brat Meets the Hunk

When I'm with you, I don't have to be conscious 'cause I trust you. I can let my walls down and be sure that you're not going to hurt me. It takes time to realize because I've been quite a brat all my life. So I realized what I must do now... You showed me that the mouth speaks when the heart is full...and that a lot of things are still waiting to turn into a wonderful moment.


You're such a treat to be with, to laugh with, to hang around with... We can walk for hours and ignore the storm, talk about anything that tickles our fancy, say what exactly is in our minds and laugh about it. A perfect day for me is when the sun is there (or even not!) as long as you smile... I smile...


Right now, I feel so laid back...feels like I will soon grow tired of waiting for something. Maybe of waiting to see you again? See you smiling once again? Hear you calling my name? Or maybe I wanted to wait for the day where everything will start to be special and each day after that will never be the same.


Its just a wishful thinking because of that one day with the hunk. ( Can't stop laughing now.)
Missing him...more than ever.

Stay With Me

Have I ever told you, that you are my life?


I'll tell you now... 
Let me start by saying thank you for finding me. I know it was you who came finally, after such a long wait. Sorry for not making my life perfect, sorry for messing up...but thank you that you came. Thank you for loving me in the moonlight and loving me in the day. And you should know that I'm loving you too almost the same way. I love you in your best mood and I love you in your worst.


From that very first day I know I like you, I like the way you smile at me as if I'm the only one you see. I love the way you make me feel when you caught me looking at you. I turn around as if I'm looking for somebody else, but you got me there I know you did. I tried not to look but I felt you there, and I know then that my entire life just changed.


I love you - with no reason at all. But I need you to stay with me for the very reason that I love you. I tried to reason out with my heart, because you said not to trust it. The heart did not reason out, but something else did. It goes like this, "if you are able to teach your heart who to love, then why didn't you? Why didn't you unloved him at very first time?" I told my mind not to listen to my heart and everything else was okay. I gave my heart to Him, for Jesus is the One who loved me first and I know I'm safe with Him. And this is my prayer when I gave it, that it will only love the one who is meant to have it and that He will be the one to teach me who to love.


So stay with me, I will love you when you don't have anything else. I'll be with you even when you hair changes to gray, I'll take care of you when no one wants to get near your bed and I will walk with you no matter how slow your steps maybe. Someday when you can't hardly see my face, I will sing to you till you can draw me in your mind. I'll hold your hand like the way I always held them and our fingers will remember how it curls and fits with the other. 
Stay with me, lets try to be the best that we can be and lets take our time.
Stay with me...give me a chance to love you. You are in my life now and I want to live it.

Fearless Waiting

I rushed into love, I know its wrong...and I did all the stupid things I can think of. I don't know what happened but I know it should stop. Sometimes falling so deep means hurting deep too. I don't know what to do...I'm terrified. You are the only one, and this is my only life. I only say these things because I mean it...and because its true.

I will wait for you...in the dust of this world. I will wait for you, counting every sunshine and every rainy day. Hoping might lead to frustration, but I am hoping for the best of what is to come and not just to hope for your love. This is the last time I ever fall in love, its now or never, all or nothing. I believe in love and I will side with love till the end. Love knows no fear or doubt or losing. In the end, what matters most is that you love and you stood up for it.


I didn't know you will come, I didn't know you will find me...but here I am waiting. I'll be okay, I wouldn't cry anymore 'cause I've already cried. I tried to give up this feeling, tried to let it go, but it simply can't be tore out of my system.
How I miss your smiling eyes, the way you hold my hand, the look of your smile, I miss the way we breathe... I can't forget all these no matter what I do.


I got to learn so much. Between love and life there is so much I can't understand. But for sure, there's this one thing I will always keep. In my heart there will always be a place for you...and no matter what happened it will always be for you. I will be waiting, fearlessly...to love you.

J Stands For

A name...What is in a name? Can you judge anyone by their names?

I do know the answer, I have met a lot of people, heard a lot of funny names but there's one letter that I so love...The second letter of my real name, the letter J!

It is someone's heart alright. Someone who needs a new heart...someone who doesn't know me. He doesn't know the one who dreams about him at night, who longs to kiss his lips and hold him tight. So much for feeling this way, and he calls me his friend. Yeah, he thinks he knows me so well. I want him to be happy, yes I do. But I'm also wondering...


What will happen if he knew how I feel? What will happen if he doesn't? Do I just look at him as he turns around and walk away? Do I throw away these chains and run after him? I want him to be happy, but will he be happy if he knew my heart is crying out deep inside me? What if he is the one and all the time I never knew? Isn't it worth trying? If I wait for tomorrow, will it be too late?


So, what does J stands for? J stands for that most confusing feeling, ambivalence of being happy and being sad, wanting to love but scared to be hurt, its just a painful feeling that you can't live without! Its like saying goodbye and running back into his arms, turning away and turning around, all mixed up...all confused...all painful but wonderful. How can all that be possible?


This heart, that I swore to hold, to protect and cherish...but never to love and keep. If there is anything more painful than this...I'll take it.

Just the Two of Us

     Sometimes you'll hold his hand, and you just know that he is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life...


    There are things in life that doesn't need cash or special occasions to happen, things that aren't really planned but it pops out of nowhere, things that are perfect with just the two of us there.


    Who says we got to have a car when walking is the perfect thing to do. Who says we need the sun, when the light of your smile is enough to make my world spin. With your hand in mine, even if the rain is beating down on me I wouldn't mind.


    You asked what did I do, and you can't take your eyes off me...well, what did you do that it seemed like you are my life now? One look at you and I can forget the rest of the world, one kiss and I can drown in your eyes, one touch of your hand and I can face anything they throw my way.


    Standing beside you, looking in your eyes, smiling with you and taking your hand in mine is a perfect picture in my heart. I want to spend the rest of my life like this, with you...just the two of us.
    
If I could choose my sky
That would be your eyes
If I can hold my dream
It would be your hand,


If this is the last time
Then tomorrow I would die
If you aren't my love
Then for sure you are my life.


Thank you, for being there for me. You are wonderful...its romantic in a funny sort of way. Just the two of us, the rain and the concrete path :)

BLuE

     The heaven, the sky and the water is often blue. Serene, cool, deep and peaceful... But right now I'm floating in blue because of the emptiness, the hurt and the lack of warmth in my heart. I choose to, didn't I? When I knew loving you will hurt, falling for you is wrong and worse wearing my heart on my sleeves.
     Still here I am, waiting for that time when you can finally look at me without being guilty. Hoping for the chance to hold your hand without dreading that someone else might come and take it. I don't know why I fell or why am I waiting?
     It hurts every time he tells me not to love him, that he isn't worthy of being loved, that he is the least of all people to love...he doesn't know it hurts me because I love him. I never wanted to. How can he make me cry? Make me blue? This is love isn't it? You will never know it is true unless it hurts you. Love is a thousand mystery placed in a box, so that when you open one it confuses you. One mystery after the other, until you spent your last strength emptying the box. When its empty, that is the only time you realized that you got the wrong box.
     Its not the same with you though, the first time I got the box, I knew it was mine before even opening it. Even if it makes me blue, I know its real. That's what matters for me. That I love you.

Silken Gold

Silken Gold

There are three phases of time: past, present and future. Past teaches by reflection and memory; present teaches through senses: what we see, hear, smell, feel and spoken; future though cannot be perceived, teaches hope, trust and faith. This is of course a thought, for there are no facts written in here. These are purely opinions, feelings and point of views.

Time is a silken gold, fibers of the past, present and future intertwined to perfection by the Hands. Those who live in the past are forgotten, fading away as time goes by. But the deeds of the past affects the present entirely. Those who are living in the present owes the past and are responsible for the future. For the future comes in when the present starts to pass. So, here we are standing in the present: do we look back to the past and wish to go back? Or do we try to see the future and worry what will happen next?

The most important part of time is today, where we can see, feel, smell, taste and hear everything. Today, we are alive, we can make a change, we can seize the day for all the world to see. The past is but a shadow, always there but dark and cold and the future simply unknown. If we only live for a day, our past would be the night before. Today is when the sun lights up high above our heads. Future is like the twilight, mysterious and enchanting.

I would never waste my today crying over the past or wondering about the future. Today is when I am alive, to see the light, to hear the rhythm and melody, to say what I feel, to feel what is real and to live life in full. It is today that I can do something about the past and lead the future. Today I can love without pain from the past or fear from the future.

 Pictures capture a few seconds of what we have today, so that tomorrow we may see a part of yesterday. That is, never forget what came to pass...do not neglect what is...and embrace the future with an open heart.

Time is a silken gold of memories, of what is existing and what will come. His will be done!

Iloilo

     Iloilo City is such a nice place, with nice people and great food! Spent my college days here, at West Visayas State University right in the heart of the city. Ilonggos are very nice, friendly and lovable. I'm  not really new here, my dad is an Ilonggo and we live just about two hours away from the main City.
     This is where I discovered a lot about myself, conquered teenage rebellion, learned about dealing with other people and a lot more...This is the second City that I fell in love with, and this is where I learned what love is. A long time ago I thought it was love, but the second time that I ventured there I just discovered more of what love really is.


     It started out as a nuisance, like when you meet someone and you don't like him to be around. Him being there in the same room with you, always in the periphery of your vision. Until he is gone...you realized you missed him standing by the door, starring at you once in a while and his smile stays on your mind for days!
     Its good that communication is fully equipped with technology that I was able to find him again! This time saying hi, exchanging funny senseless conversation and just enjoying being friends. Between words and smiles, there are things that were never said. Each laugh, and each second of our time passing like days and months that after sometime we felt like we knew each other forever even if it has been just two months.
     This is not the first time to feel all these different emotions, feel this high and alive but this is truly the first time I ever felt real. I thought being in love is a dream, a fairytale, something that we need to work hard for...but love is really a gift. Love is free, love is given, love is real and its not a fairytale. There a so many words that can be spoken of love but only few knows what is real. I cannot say that my love story will have a happy ending, its not true that all love story ends happily. But the joy of knowing that you have loved, and that person knew he is safe with you, the trust and friendship that is shared is more than any of that happy ending.
     Love never ends you know, so much for a happy ending! Love just continues in thoughtfulness, hope, friendship, genuine care, being there, making someone smile, praying for each other...and that ladies and gents is love-the greatest thing in heaven and on earth :)




                                                                                                                                        I love you.

Walking Away

Been loving you since that day

I saw you, and that smile on your face

From then on, I never got away

Stayed here by your side, promised you for always.

Now that eveything isn't right

And I know you feel nothing for me

Now that everything must be right

And what we know for sure is maybe.

I know I must start walking away

Leave you and my heart behind

Wake up from this dream I made

Push you out of my mind.

Stop dreaming to be with you

Stop hoping someday we'll make it there

Let me just find my way, see what is true

Walk away this time if I really care.

Walking away, no turning around

No looking back as tears fall from my eyes

Walking away, not making a sound

This is for us, my sacrifice.

Thoughts

   Thoughtfully thinking one day, there are so many things going on in this mind. Why can't we put classifications to the types of thoughts that comes in our minds? Like biodegradable versus non biodegradable perhaps? 'Cause some thoughts are really not worth thinking about. But then again, small thoughts regardless how unimportant they are give birth to a new thought that is definitely better than the first one.

       Sometimes thoughts doesn't make sense and doesn't think the way you want them to be...Which shows that thoughts, ladies and gents have a process of its own. It doesn't just jump into a pattern and weave a mystery so difficult to fathom. It simply co-exist with the human mind. Thoughts analyze what we see, hear, feel, taste and smell. So feed your thoughts. Live life with all your senses!

Flutter

Flying with no direction

Attracted to a prism of colors

Following the blinded intuition

Green...red...purple and blue.

Faster than the blink of an eye

Merging with the invisible wind

A movement undirected and sly

Stretch and sway and bend.

So cold are your hands on mine

Shaking yet still holding on

My heart, my love, I kept in line

Can't stop on my own...

I flutter when you look at me

I flutter when you call my name

My heart flutter secretly

And I smile to hide it all and its beauty.

Breathless

a call from a distant silk road

voices calling from an ancient nature

always vibrant and never cold

so smooth, so inviting...allured.

like butterflies, winged and gentle

like waterfalls, rushing and strong

gravity pulling ever forceful

fleeting, too soon...too long.

hanging on to what's real

letting go of reasons, thrill in my senses

forgetting to think, drowning to feel

what you are makes me breathless...

Because You're Going Away

A thousand times I told myself

Not to hang on 'cause everything always change

But until now I get so scared

That someday you're going away...

The things I love, the things I got used to

"Good mornings", and the things you do

The funny conversations and the opposite ideas

And each time you dismiss my childish pleas.

How I would miss you opposing my ways

How you lovingly correct my tantrum days

I never had a brother who knew me so well

Who will watch me now? To whom do I tell?

Jealousy is not love, if you love at all

Do not put your self down, always stand tall

You are unique and strong and beautiful

Who will see that now 'cause you're going away?

I will always miss those words and care and love

I have to prepare, I won't hold you back

'Cause you're going away please take care

I'll be waiting... Till you come back.